This year, I'm undertaking something new to me, encouraged by Victory , a Christian Church I regularly participate just last year. Every start of the year, they practice a 7-day fasting and prayer, spending quiet time focusing on scripture, reflection and setting faith goals for the year.
After all these years, why now?
I came to a tipping point in life where I wanted to seek divine guidance in my life's direction. Have you ever asked yourself if the life you're living right now is the way that it should be despite when your life looks and seems okay? Or maybe, the thinking, Surely, there must be more to life than the usual cycle.
It seemed like the best time to take a short break, emptying myself from being myself
My journey begins...I will document each day but publish it when the final day comes :)
Day 1:
I started making a list of faith goals and prayers for myself, family, friends, relatives, and also a list I'm grateful for the past years. I actually felt guilt in the process and realized I could have been selfish at times.
Fasting sounds so easy I thought, I failed Day 1 by half and hope to make it up for Day 2.
Message: Seek the true word.
Day 2:
I felt more lost and confused, or rather restless, and impatient after writing down my faith goals. I also felt regret undertaking this practice and thought maybe I should just quit the idea.
I got depressed, I got bored and thought maybe I'm doing it wrong since it's making me more upset.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to relax and re-read the day's reading.
Message: Accepting Christ is having a new heart, losing our mood for sin.
Day 3:
Sensing I'm about to call it quits, the title read, "Keep the Faith". I thought about not publishing this post anymore for my attempt sounded really pathetic.
I realize I give up easily when I do things myself and thought, it's probably better to have someone to involve with in the process.
I rarely ask for help and that's probably my biggest problem as part of life is being a blessing to others and let others be a blessing to you.
I realize there's also danger when you don't express it somehow for you become self absorbed with all your concerns and fail to care for the people around you.
Asking for help is also an act of humbling down yourself.
I failed Day 3 and thought I should probably give up by now and stop trying but then I thought, it's too far to turn back now.
Message: True enough, the message for the day also asked if you are relying on your own effort to achieve your goals and not involving God.
Day 4:
This phrase certainly caught my attention from another book:
"It could be a behavior you've acquired for self-defense, like compulsive overeating or habitual withdrawal from people."
Interestingly, these two behaviors are mentioned together.
I began to reflect, self defense from.. what exactly?
Message: Pray for deliverance from what's holding you back to reveal your true and wonderful self.
Day 5
I lost focus today and became impatient. Felt burned out from focusing on reading more, my mind went blank. I slept late, I became restless.
But somehow, I recalled this verse today from Isaiah 55:2
"Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare"
...and got reminded on the dangers of indulging too much on 'worldly' desires.
Message: Are you too self indulgent? What are the things that you are indulgent and addicted on that's taking your time and energy away from God?
Day 6
Feelings of extreme stupidity and embarrassment sinked in for even attempting this whole thing. I thought today is the day I drop this whole practice and move on.
But somehow, a recent dream began to surface and encouraged me to fulfill it.
Also, I received the greatest answer that struck me as to why I tried in the first place, through a CCF podcast.
Message: Each of us has something that longs for God. We think that pursuing the things and ideas we want will make us happy. But later on, once we get everything, we would always feel that some things are still missing. We feel a vacuum in our hearts and our soul becomes restless. We end up feeling empty and ask ourselves, "is that all there is to life?"
The proof that we have a God is the restlessness of the human soul.
The emptiness is real.
What would most people do to address the emptiness?
Live in quiet desperation - getting involved with more hobbies, parties, all kinds of activities but refuse to look within. Living with no real joy and no real peace.
We were designed by God and for God.
James 4:8 "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you"
"It's not wrong to pursue things and ideas, but don't forget to pursue the most important thing, intimacy with God, before it is too late."
Prayer and Fasting - What's really the big idea?
Fasting reveals the things that controls us. God does not speak louder when we fast, we begin to hear better.
Galatians 5:26
"Let us not become desirous of empty glory, provoking one another, envying one another"
Day 7
I read the last scriptures, listened to a few podcasts and felt a bit disheartened.
It reminded me of the mistakes I made and how ashamed I felt. I sort of gave up.
I realize I don't deal with fear too well. Often times, I just run away instead of being open.
Message: Patient endurance. Secrets are a burden.
Realizations throughout the experience
God wants us to enjoy His love for us. If a father can give the best for his son, what more a living God?
Because of free will, we have a choice whether to claim His promises and perfect plan for us.
We are not saved by our own works, but our faith and obedience in God
To live in Christ is to love your neighbor as you would love yourself.
Personal thoughts:
Not really proud. Half the time I distracted myself in other things. Might not have dealt with things right. But I should ask for forgiveness and not be too hard.
Let go of the fears and just get it out there.
There's hope in being renewed.
Have you had breakthroughs after your fasting and prayer experience?
